Thursday, December 9, 2010

The Cat's Meow



Your mind racing as you try to think of something that will get the bullet monkeys off your back, you hear a cat mewl nearby and have a brainwave. “Don’t hurt me!” you splutter. “Please, I’m just looking for my pussy...” “Your what?” says the man you recognise as Ramone Dexter. “Cat,” replies his friend, Finnigan Sinister. “He means cat, Ray, get your mind out o’ the gutter! Jeez Louise!" The cat mewls again and both gunmen turn in the direction of the sound. “As in, 'meow meow, here kitty kitty, how’s about a lovely bowl of milk then',” Finnigan continues. “Your looking for a cat?” Ramone asks, eyeing you suspiciously. “Yes,” you reply. “She ran away this morning, I've been searching all day...I can't leave her out alone all night, in this weather, with no food or shelter..." “Ahh, stop it, yer killin’ me,” says Finnigan. “Poor little kitty-cat...” The cat mewls again and Sinister grabs Dexter by the arm and starts to drag him away. “Come on Ray, it’s over here, so it is. Let’s help this fella find his puddy-tat. It can be our good deed for Christmas.” “Vayase! Finny, you can’t be serious!” Ramone groans, as Finny drags him back down the alley the way you came. “I don’t like cats, Finny! I especially don’t like trying to catch them! They scratch.” Not quite believing your ruse has worked, you hop to your feet and leg it the last few yards to the back of the building, skidding around the corner and locating the outhouse. Reaching it, you slide your invitation into the slot provided and watch the door pop open, revealing not a toilet inside, but an elevator. You step in and the door closes behind you, and for a moment nothing happens...then, abruptly, the floor drops away and you are plummeting downwards. Ten seconds later you come to a jarring halt and an elevator door opens to reveal a long corridor that stretches left and right away from you. Sounds of music and revelry reach your ears, from both directions, and you can tell the party is in full swing.

Do you...

Go left, or...

Go right?