Friday, December 17, 2010


With Slaine turning inside out as he charges across the floor - the crowd parting spectacularly before him - and Niamh hopping onto the table to swing her sword at Zenith's neck, your gut instinct is to jump clear and dash for safety. Surprisingly...this is what you don't do, as some kind of suicidal fighting instinct you never knew you had kicks in, and you slide your chair backwards, lashing out one leg. The table wobbles and tilts with your kick, causing Niamh to lose her balance and hit the floor. At the same time, Zenith hops to his feet to throw a punch at the advancingSlaine, catching the warped one in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards...into the next booth, and the table at which a giant war robot with a hammer for a hand and a goatee-sporting Russian sit, guzzling cans of oil and glasses of vodka respectively.

As Nikolai Dante and Hammerstein are thrown, cursing, from their seats, Niamh returns to the fray, lifting the table off the floor and tossing it at you. You manage to keep your head by ducking in the nick of time, but the flying furniture careens into the neighbouring booth and crashes into its table, upsetting it and causing the occupants' drinks to spill. You gasp as two frightening individuals scowl at you, one a decrepit looking homeless man with dirty hair, a scraggly, filthy beard and an eye-patch, the other...well...a well-dressed alien, who you recognise as Nemesis!

“Oh crap,” is all you can say, as the Warlock and the man get to their feet, cracking knuckles and shouting drunken expletives. “Oh crap,” you hear Zenith echo, and you turn to see Hammerstein and Dante charging this way too! Niamh has reclaimed her sword and Slaine is swinging his Christmas tree as he advances once again...and with Ukko up on stage screaming for everybody to “Get them!” the crowd of people on the dance-floor are pressing forward too, beer bottles in their hands and anger in their eyes! Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place, and a hard place!

Do you...

Run for the door and try to escape before the brawl gets out of hand, or...

Hide somewhere and watch to see how it all pans out?