Sunday, December 12, 2010

Who the Hell's Gonna Mess With Them?!?

“Leering at a Judge in a lascivious manner!” Dredd snarls, in a voice that makes your blood run cold. “Coveting Justice Department property! Disrupting the peace and interrupting an approved Justice Department function! Sitting on a Gronk! You’re in a world of trouble, creep!” Realising you’ve dropped yourself up to your neck in it with the most harmless of actions and that Dredd will now pester you to death until he discovers who you are and how you came to be here, you decide the only thing to do is make a run for it and try to lose yourself in the crowd. “Nothing to say for yourself?” Dredd presses, prodding you in the gut with his day-stick “Sorry”, you mutter, stepping away from your chair. “Sorry?” Dredd repeats, putting down his tray. “That the best you can do? I.D and party invite, creep!” It’s make or break time now, as you make an act of dipping into your pocket to retrieve the requested items...then spin abruptly and leg it for the door! Sadly, your valiant attempt at escape extends no further than a couple of steps, as you crash into the walking wall of Christmas presents behind you. Gift-wrapped parcels drop to the floor and skitter in all directions as you and a man in green go down in a heap. “What the hell-?” the newcomer says, pushing you away and sitting up to rub his head. “Where's the fire?”

“This creep is the fire,” says Dredd, clamping a hand to your shoulder and hauling you up. “And I’m gonna put him out. Nice save, Johnny, you just caught yourself a party-crasher.” “Still dispensing justice, Joe, even at the Christmas party?” Johnny Alpha shakes his head, as he gathers up his presents. “It’s the gift that keeps on giving!” Dredd drones, frog-marching you to the door. “Help yourself to a drink and I’ll be back as soon as I put out the trash.” Realising you have let the chance of a lifetime slip through your fingers, there is nothing you can do but allow yourself be escorted to the elevator, up to the lobby, and off the premises, cursing your luck that you had to run into Anderson...and consoling yourself that, at the very least, you got a jolly good look at her boobs!

The End.

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